Consciously or unconsciously, the actions we take are what defines us. These actions could be out of habits from a daily life routine that has merged with our true person by constant practice.
Some of these actions you don’t even know when you act by them. So, whatever they are, you don’t even see them. And if there are some good people really close to you, they’re the ones that can tell better who you truly are because of these habits and actions in you.
So you can be anything without realizing it. You can be funny, arrogant or witty. You might even be so nice, with zero effort at it at all or even so effortlessly mean.
Being mean is simple, all it needs is just one really awful habit which you’re totally ignorant of and often use. And some of these bad habits could be making your life way more difficult than it needs to be.
It often explains why your friends no longer care for you or call to check on you, or why no one ever wants to pair up with you at work.
In fact, everyone wants to get done with you as quickly as possible just to get on with their life.
There are some random things that you know you shouldn’t judge, but you do. Even though you pride yourself on not being judgmental, you know you are and you can’t help it.
And whenever any of your victims decide ever to be mean to you, you just think, “Oh it must be because they’re living a sad and lonely life or they’re jealous of your happy and fulfilled life”. Whatever anyone tells you, you are Ok with it and so there’s nothing wrong with being b*tchy and mean.
These habits are part of you, in order to change these habits, you must know what you’re dealing with;
1. You Say Whatever You Want
You might have that one friend (or maybe you’re that friend) who revels in the fact they “have no mouth-filter.” It can be funny, and sometimes even charming. It’s good to put on some mouth filter when talking especially when you’re with people who are not so familiar with you. But saying anything to anyone can also make you come off as mean — if you aren’t careful.
Yes, of course, you can speak your mind but keep it simple and classy with no purpose of shaming the other person. And when you know that some of your opinions would hurt people’s feelings, try to only voice them to a very select group of people- your mum, your BFF, and your S.O. That’s it.
2. You Let Your Impatience Get the Best of You
I noticed that about myself when I was confronted by a not-so-close friend in the uni. Truth is that I never knew I acted cranky when I was behind in a line. And when I was confronted, I had a flashback to some other times, I remembered acting same cranky way. I had to readjust.
Being impatient can be a big turn off and be interpreted wrongly, it’s usually seen as anger and agitation that often goes with mean people.
3. You Don’t Want To Listen To People
As mean and b*tchy, it’s all about you. You always find a way to crop-in people into living up to your standards.
They listen to you in one way or the other while you don’t listen to them. Sometimes, when you can tell someone wants to get into your conversation but you don’t want them to, you just ignore them.
Oh, that’s mean!
All anyone truly wants, is to be heard, listened to and understood. When you’re not listening, for no obvious reasons, it’ll read the bad signs and people will view you as kind of rude.
And since I doubt you want that (I mean, who does?)
4. Always Being Late
Let me see your hands up if you’re 100% punctual? I’m not. Traffic can happen, Chores and errands may extend, or just about any other thing might happen, and that’s OK.
But, when you’re constantly showing up late on a regular basis, it becomes annoying and a real turn off. It simply reads on your forehead, ‘My time is more important than yours’ or ‘I’m super busy’.
Your time could be precious, let it not be obviously seen or your lateness could be perceived as awfully self-centered and really mean.
5. Being Super Blunt
That used to be me. People thought I’ve lost my feelings and I’m less human. So how blunt are you, on a scale from 1 to 10? If you really let people have it, don’t be surprised if they’ve also tagged you as mean.
I know it’s not your job to make everyone happy, but it’s necessary to readjust and edit whatever you say especially when you’re chatting. Adjusting the truth can be less painful to the hearer while making you seem 100 times kinder.
6. Giving Out Not-Interested Body Vibes
I often carry my face without a smile on it. I scared people away from me. Just recently someone said he hasn’t seen me smile before. That got me thinking, like seriously? But what was I doing? Scaring people with good intentions away? This is because some nonverbal habits speak louder than voice.
When our body language and some other non-verbal actions occur it interprets a lot of unfriendly vibes. “Frowning your face or not smiling, crossing or folding your arms, looking around when someone is talking, looking at a watch or (even worse) a cell phone simply reads ‘You’re not qualified to speak to me, I have important things to do, You’re boring and I’d rather be anywhere else than here”
I know sometimes you might be in a really bad mood, but at that moment ask yourself, if the person is the cause of your bad mood and if not. Don’t transfer aggression with bad body language; you might up hurting some good people.
Just be kind, look up, keep your arms at your sides and you’ll end up winning hearts and making a difference in the world.
7. You Always Assume Worst of People
We all know that life is mean. Whatever your experiences have taught you; let’s say from a bad relationship, family background or work related experience, it makes sense why your opinion of human being or life, in general, may be tainted.
But that still doesn’t mean you should always assume the worst of people. Most of the people you’re criticizing and assuming to be worst might even be good and better people than you.
And if some of these people around you could hear your internal monologue of how you picture them as monsters, you wouldn’t have any friends.
You just have to really access yourself; it can help to know which bad habits are putting people away from you. Try noticing them and then doing your best to change things up.