Get Over First Love

What’s with the heart and falling deeply in love? Especially when it’s your first time?

At first, you become scared because you feel like you’re risking your emotions. And at the same time, you feel really excited, safe and happy because you have found someone who cares about you and will support you no matter what.

Falling in love feels like you hit the restart button, for better or worse. You don’t care about getting hurt. To you at that time, love can fix all the problems in your life, or at least help you forget about them, as you have someone else to focus your thoughts and energy on. Even if love doesn’t fix all your problems, it makes you feel like you have someone on your side to go through it all with.

There’s nothing quite like falling in love and especially when it’s your first time. You don’t even know you’re in love until it becomes so obvious. Oftentimes, the feeling just hits you out of nowhere and becomes so addictive.

The feeling itself is slightly different for every person and some of the physical effects of being in love may be unique to just you, but it’s an experience that can be universally understood.

When you are in love with someone you naturally feel a sense of attachment and attraction with the person, you know you can feel the person even when the person is not in front of your eyes and if they’re in pains, you can feel it in your heart. It’s like suddenly you feel a lot helpless when you’re in love.

But what happens when these rushes of emotions turn sour and you decide to let go is the best option for you? Whatever emotion you felt while in love is the opposite of what you’re going to feel trying to get over your first-time lover.

The pain you’ll experience from letting go of someone you love can stop you right in your tracks, and you need to take action now if you hope to move forward with your life and find happiness elsewhere.

1. Cut contact

Cutting contact means cutting the flow of emotions. So, before you do anything, and I mean anything else, you need to cut contact with the person.

You’re not erasing their memories; you’re trying to equip yourself so you don’t stalk them whenever it seems you’re bored, sad, you’re spiraling or emotionally weak.

Because the truth is that you’ll never be able to heal if you keep the person who hurt you so close at hand or rush to them whenever you feel weak emotionally. Delete their phone numbers, discard contact information, pictures, and anything else directly connected with them.

2. Don’t Fight the Feeling

First experiences may seem special and memorable. Don’t hate it or try fighting what you felt. The pain may be fresh in your heart today. But soon, you’ll forget all about it as long as you let the wound heal naturally.

How did you feel when you got your first car?  Or traveling to a new city for the first time? That’s what we feel being in love for the first time. You’ll remember your first times because it’s a special moment, but the details start to get hazy over time. And just like that, the meomories with your first love will start to fade bit by bit and get hazy too. But the harder you try to forget it or fight it, the longer it’ll stick to your mind.

3. Don’t Live in the World of Fantasy

When you cut contact, you’ll begin to feel the urge to remember or fantasize about the past. Stop right there! And don’t glorify the past. At this point, you’re experiencing a gradual process of emotional healing, so you don’t need to reflect on the past or be motivated to fantasize that maybe, just maybe, the past will change. Maybe things could work out this time if it was different in some ways. Well, sorry, things won’t work out — and they won’t change.

Whatever motivation signal you’re receiving is your brain being defensive and trying to keep you away from feeling the pain.

So do your best to give yourself a reality check and stay in the present, keep moving forward and maintain clarity. Don’t harp on a past that most likely didn’t exist, other than in your imagination.

4. Don’t Keep Tabs on them

When it comes to getting over your first love, just remember that ignoring them can be very blissful. So, don’t go about keeping tabs on them especially on social media. Also, let your family and friends know that you don’t wish to be informed about them. Try to pretend they don’t exist anymore by ignoring them so you don’t slip into a web of negative thoughts.

5. Opt-in for Self Love

Do you still remember that the first love of your life is actually YOU? At this point, it’s very important to prioritize self-love and self-care. Channel the love and attention to yourself and discover the better version of you, you never knew existed.

Meditate, journal, talk to a friend and learn from your mistakes. Take plenty of time to sleep, drink water, eat popcorn and watch a movie wearing just PJ (my faves) and eat healthfully. Declutter, organize and clean your apartment and go through your closet. Have a spa day. The more energy you put into yourself and your personal space following a detachment or separation, the more confident and healed you’ll feel.

And as long as you practice self-love, stay active, and put yourself first, you’ll always feel immeasurable joy and stability, no matter what life keeps throwing at you. Celebrate yourself, and you’ll get over your first love in no time.

6. Give it Time

Ever heard that time heals all wounds? Yes, time heals everything. You may feel like it’s a very difficult thing to do on your own right now. But trust me, it’ll all pass. The pain may hurt and seem unbearable on you for a week or two or even months, but if you try your best to get over it by using these tips, you’ll be able to overcome the pain and move on, to becoming a better person.

The love that you had for your first love and soon-to-be-ex took time for you to build up to the heightened state it was in and it’ll take time to deal with it. It won’t just disappear overnight. You should understand now that there is no shortcut to get through this.

How TO Get Over Your First Love

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